My Failure

“ I told my best friend, then he told the whole school..” He had carried this secret with him for 13 years. The one day the he finally felt like he could trust someone they stabbed him in the back. That’s ok though, he has scars to match it on his wrist. this secret that he carried around weighed him down more and more everyday. He couldn't tell anyone he was different because then they would pick on him, more than they already do. the short jokes, fat jokes, ugly jokes, and now.. Gay jokes.

He was a happy kid growing up. He didn't think anything could get him down, he thought he was invincible because when trouble started his big sister was there to defend him, But she grew older and she thought she was too good for him. He wasn't so invincible anymore.. That’s when everything went wrong. He went from the most popular to the most hated. Kids picked on him everyday and when he got home it just got worse because his sister wasn't there to protect him anymore. She would just stay in her room.. So he did it. He took those scissors and dug into his wrists. He cried for his family and he cried for his friends but they wouldn't come. He cried for his sister he cried for the memories they had he cried for all of them to come rushing back, but they wouldn't. They were gone and so was she. So he kept digging into his wrists thinking maybe if I dig hard enough or dig deep enough I can find her. I can find us playing in the mud. I can find us swimming in the river. I can find where she promised me nothing would ever come between us, but he didn't. He knew in his heart he would never find those memories but he kept digging, everyday a new scar and every day one less person seemed to care. What he didn't know was his sister was too busy digging for her own memories to notice he was hurting too. but at dinner one night when she noticed one scar poking out of his sweatshirt. longing to be healed she ran to him, she ran to him and cuddled him like he was an infant. She cried for hours but only to match the melody of her brothers tears to. They both had longed for this moment so deeply that they didn't even notice each others suffering.. I blame myself everyday for the scars on my brothers skin. I was too busy peeking inside of my cuts looking for any sign of hope to know that he was doing the same. When my parents told me that my brother was self harming I cried I ran to him and I cried for hours with him. and he told me why, he said “I’m bisexual.. they pick on me every day, I told my best friend and he told the whole school.”